“WTF, I thought we were just here to observe!” Laptop Mag contributor TJ Fink said in horror as he watched me, depicted as a hot dog avatar, do my best moves at Club B33, a public strip club within VRChat.

“When in Rome, do as the Romans do!” I said as I spun around a pole, imagining myself as Salma Hayek from From dusk to dawn. However, from the outside looking in, I just looked like a lopsided, wobbly weiner. How can I know? Fink took an in-game screenshot and showed me the evidence: yeah, that’s me tossing my buns in a circle in my, er, “seductive” routine.

You laugh, but guess what? Someone I thought my routine was sexy enough to get me a “hot dog!” out of them. I thought I was safe as a weiner,…