Source: www.theonion.com
MENLO PARK, CA—Warning that criminals who breached the system had already made significant, irreversible damage, a damning new cybersecurity report released Friday found that Russian hackers had gained access to millions of stretches of the Metaverse. “As of today, foreign agents employed by the Russian government have discovered a security flaw in the backend of the Metaverse servers. and exploited the deficiency to exert control over the legs, knees and feet of various digital tovatars,” said report author Dr. David Kline, adding that bad actors now had the ability to force users to perform myriad actions, including sitting, standing, jumping, dancing, running, or even splitting. “Right now, Mark Zuckerberg has yet to address and, in some cases, completely denied, the fact that the bottom…
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